And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize