We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
