just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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