Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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