thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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