By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
