I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
