Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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