I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I see more hoeing in ur future
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
