She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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