I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
