Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
