So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
