Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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