dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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