I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
