You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm just crazy horny about you
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize