I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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