just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
