just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
