It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just googled if crying burns calories
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
