covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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