Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize