i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize