ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
