I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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