i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
