I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
