Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
