He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Your dad touched me again.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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