i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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