I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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