She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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