did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
