now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
