All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
