I hate all girls vehemently.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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