somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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