the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Bring me that man meat
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
