CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We're too hungover to prance.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
