btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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