I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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