oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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