we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
i now understand why vodka
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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