Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
