I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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