Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize