He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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