you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
