I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
