he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
