You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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