sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
