im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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