1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
