the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
