Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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