Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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