Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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