you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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