Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We have started to decorate penises.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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