He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
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