So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize