I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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