just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My feet surprised me
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
