so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
